


The Book of Goodbyes

by Rainwater_Apothecary



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, abuse recovery, alcohol mention, emotional abuse implied, emotional manipulation impled, facing the music, general misery, the breakup
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-04-21 23:28:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainwater_Apothecary/pseuds/Rainwater_Apothecary
Summary: Junpei is the damn hero again. This time Light doesn't have to take him back.He's made his bed and now it's time for him to lie in it.





	1. Big Damn Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Just listen to Lauv's 'Lost in the Light' EP.

The night air had softened itself around the sleeping men. Junpei wanted nothing more than to reach out and trace the moonlight that painted Light’s cheek. That would wake him though, so Junpei lay stilled. 

Knowing what he had to do was different from doing what he had to do. 

He’d known what needed to be done for about a week now, but God if he didn’t put it off as long as possible.

Akane...

She needed to be stopped. Junpei didn’t know what she was planning, but knowing her super-human knowledge of the future he wasn’t taking chances. 

He wanted a smoke.

He needed a drink.

Instead he lay still and took in the sleeping face of his lover. The other man’s natural eye bags turned gray when he slept, Junpei thought. His fingers longed to trace his features, breathing a goodbye into every fold and tender breath. 

He sighed.

“...Junpei?” Light’s groggy voice answered his prolonged stillness. They’d even gotten used to each others’ cadence, Junpei flickered a smirk.

Finally he could reach for his love.

Caressing Mr. Field’s cheek with his rough fingertips, he told the taller man to go back to sleep. It was too early to be awake. The agent nodded sleepily and rolled over.  
Junpei’s chest clenched at his cue. 

The mars experiment wasn’t for another couple of days, surely he could put it off for one more night? Light’s back looked so lonely...

Junpei shook his shaggy head and nestled his edges around Light’s. 

He had a couple more hours until daybreak. 

...He was in so much trouble. 

How was he supposed to say goodbye to _him_ and then go back to... _her?_

Junpei sighed into his lover’s shoulder and Light twitched in his sleep. This was madness. This whole mission was dumb.  
Yet here he was; the hero. Always the damn hero. 

Light Field awoke to an empty bed and a neck full of kisses. 

He punched the mattress.

 _Damnit_ Junpei.


	2. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junpei comes home empty-handed with a stomach full of dread.

“Junpei- Junpei calm down! What the hell happened?”

Junpei rolled the cold can between his palms as he took in what he had done.

“I...Light I’m an idiot.”

“Granted.” At the sound of aluminum crinkling in Junpei’s tensing hands, the blind man’s features softened.

He rested a pale hand on his lover’s arm and quietly urged him to continue.

Taking in another shaky breath, Junpei felt Light’s fingers begin to trace up and down the veins of his arm. Okay. He could at least TRY.

“L-love you.” Welp, he’d tried. He buried his face in his hands to avoid Light’s inevitably quirked eyebrow.

“And I you, Junpei.”

Fuck he was in trouble.

That ring had never been meant for Akane. The shape was all wrong, yet she had never asked.

It was a man’s ring, and now a woman wore it on her hand.

He was in so much trouble.

-

They didn’t talk about the ring. Junpei didn’t know how to feel about Light’s glossing over that topic.

He was relieved beyond all measure when Light set his hand to his chin and began to think aloud.

“You know... she HAS influenced your choices before...”

Junpei’s eyes widened.

Akane? Using the field?

...He shook his head.

“There was a LOT of interference, Light. I know we’re a powerful Transmitter-Receiver duo but... hm.” His turn to bring his hand up to his chin in thought. Light’s seeking fingers touched his arm to ‘see’ what he was doing.

“Ominous.”

Junpei snorted a laugh at his friend’s review of the way his sentence had petered out. He reached out to settle his fingers lightly over the other man’s lips. Light quirked an eyebrow at the silent request but sighed and shook his head.

“Careful Junpei, you’re a married man.”

Tenmyouji wanted to sob.

“But...”

Junpei looked up tiredly. Light’s lips twitched as he felt the circles beneath his love’s eyes.

“It’s not outside the realm of reason for a man to lose his mind around a woman. I’m sure it’s been done plenty of times before.”

“Listen Light, I only care about her when I’m looking at her!”

“Interesting.”

His stomach curled and went cold.

“N-not like you, god!” The blind man sat back. “No- no listen!”

The other man began to cross his arms as his boyfriend dug himself deeper.

“You’ve been inside my HEAD, koibito.”

Light’s tension eased a hair at the nickname.

“So has she, ...Junpei.”

He winced at the lack of the returning nickname but Light had reached out to interlace their fingers. The brunette sighed and brought their hands up to his forehead, beer settled beside them and forgotten.

“I know, Light. I know.”

“A bit of a revolving door these days.”

“Ouch, man.”

Light chuckled and felt Junpei’s quick smirk against his knuckles.

He dropped their hands to dangle in the open space between the couch and the chair they faced one another from.

“So what are we gonna do, man?”

Light released Junpei’s hand.

“I am not sure, Junpei.” He leaned back into his chair and sighed. The Japanese man watched his musician’s long fingers work their way through his fluffy grey hair. It’d stick up at all angles after this, he knew.

“The truth is, it’s not entirely my problem.”

Junpei’s jaw hit the floor.

“Light!”

“What Junpei? I have to draw the line somewhere. I won’t keep pulling you out of trouble with this woman. And it is always her, don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Junpei slumped. He knew.

“So...” He tried. Light crossed his arms. Uh oh.

“So I think you need time to clear your head. Figure out what you want. Get married. Go back to her if that’s what you’re set on doing. Just stop including myself and Clover in this misery.”

Junpei’s eyes widened as the floor shattered out from beneath him.

NOW what was he supposed to do?


	3. Rather Be Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light has some research to do.

When Clover got home it was to a silent and dark house.

“Light? Junpei? I’m home!” She called experimentally. It’d been a long time (to her) since her brother had kicked Junpei out...but she could hope.

Light, on the other hand...

“Come on dude, I know you don’t have a concert today.” She tried as she slipped off her boots and climbed the stairs to their second floor.

Knocking gently on her brother’s door with the back of two knuckles, Clover peeled into the empty room.

Rolling her eyes, she turned to check the gap beneath the library door. There. Artificial light showed faintly beneath the wooden door.

“Light, buddy. I’m home.”

Her brother was wearing his earbuds and focusing intently on the air above his laptop. Both him and the sleek machine sat on the wooden floor.

“Light?”

He twitched at the vibrations on the floor but didn’t turn towards her.

What was he working on? He didn’t wear his earbuds while he was composing...

Her shoulders slumped. He was reading.

Tucking her skirt behind her knees the girl settled herself beside her brother as he sat curled in a miserable knot on the floor of the dark library.

He was reading about the effects of abuse on decision making.

Junpei.

“Oh Light...” She sighed, sad down to her bones. He flinched as she rested her cheek on his shoulder. She was worried about him, but she didn’t remove his earbud. Side by side the siblings read about manipulation and it’s effects on behavior change.

Eventually the backlit words swam before the teenager’s eyes and she dozed off on her brother’s shoulder.

Light read on.


End file.
